This is another poem I wrote a few years ago that I hid away and want to share in my efforts to encourage myself to write more poems. I can't wait to share them with you.

On the Shore' is inspired by Jonan Christian Dahl's painting, 'A Mother and Child by the Sea' (1840). I wrote this poem after seeing this painting and instantly imagined the time when men would go out to war and women and children would anticipate their arrival.

On the shore a girl screamed “Papa Papa”
Papa was still a long distance away.
Standing on the rocky coastal ground
The child would lose her balance,
Her mother lay one hand on her shoulder
The firm and heavy grip did not faze her
And she pointed “Papa”.

The clouds closed their doors
The boat moved towards them, motionless
Later seemed blown about by the wind.
The glassy sea reflected the dying sun
Let hope ripple through.
The boat lay at a rest stop in the sea.

The dirt-ridden sail flapped, the boat made a movement,
A sigh spread across the sea, the girl jumped “Papa”.

The clouds opened pink sunset
Revealing the mothers tresses
Her dress bunched up around the rocks
The flesh of it supple and young,
Its soft satin, prey to the sharp rocks.

The boat moved sideways
The sail resigned.
The mother moved her hand
Covered the child's face.
Underneath, the child squinted
Turned towards the blanket of the dress
“Mama”.

The painting is a calm evening on a rocky coastal landscape and sun's reflection is the little air of optimism in the painting. I imagined the mother nervous. I depicted the dark mood through my imagery acting as a catalyst to the eventual sinking of the boat, "The clouds closed their doors", the sun was "dying" and the reflection of the sun was "pushed about by the rocks".

A Pair of Shoes painting by Vincent Van Gogh (1886)

I have been writing poetry for as long as I can remember and even published them on a blog I used to have separate to this one. I have been getting back into writing poetry because it has always soothed me. As a teenager I had my poems published on TeenInk. My poem Daddy I Miss You featured as the number one poem on the website 43 times. My poem Beautiful won Editors Choice award for “an exceptional piece”. Poetry has been a huge part of my growth both in terms of achievement and healing. I wrote this one five years ago as a part of my creative writing assignment at university. It is an ekphrastic poem inspired by Van Gogh's shoes.

Reading this is taking me right back to my impressionist art obsession. I can't wait to share some of my new work with you.

Their mouths gape open after a hard day's work
Accusingly, I have used the life out of them.
I drag them through the cobbled streets of the markets
They are too stubborn to lift, defiant.

The laces are burnt out ropes,
Yet hang as threads.
They are jagged jail bars,
Dig into my flesh leaving blue stains.

Making a pact, they lock together
Like twigs that stay put during autumn,
That are ferociously ripped off
By children playing.

Turning them around for further inspection
There was the Wheatfield.
A feather from a crow,
A little present to my soles.

The dying wheat sprinkled off its yellow confetti
Of life.
The feather is molded into the grooves
Life is yellow. Blue is death.

Taking me back to my solitary walks;
One lost its wear a little more,
The heel trips me back at an awkward gravel path
And laughs at me when I stumble.

At sunrise I drop them with a thud
At sunset I drop them with a groan.
The naked eyelets are neglected
The rigid stems refuse to seam through.

Sat there, desolate
Their collars no longer identical
With a sigh one resigned, wilted
Holding me down further.

It is believed that van Gogh bought these shoes at a flea market so I mentioned his walk through "the markets". van Gogh spent a lot of money and time on his paintings and was eventually unable to afford to buy food. He was not well-off and this is clear in his deteriorating shoes.

Another one of his paintings called A Wheatfield with Crows is believed to be one of his last paintings before he took his own life and he seemed to have painted a lot of wheatfields. I couldn't help but get excited about that and incorporate it so it is as if he walked through the wheatfield with these boots, "There was the Wheatfield. A feather from a crow" and concluded it with his death, "Blue is death" and "Yellow is life".

The shoes fight with him throughout and he is eventually unable to continue on with them, his life.

It feels right to finally give you a two and a half year update on my minimalism journey. I cannot believe it has been this long. My minimalism playlist on YouTube is the most watched and followed playlist on my channel.

Above is a photo of a corner of my bedroom that I am particularly proud of. I am obsessed with open spaces and try to keep furniture to an absolute basic minimum. My rule is that if it's not going to be in frequent use it should go. In this way I am able to enjoy the paintwork and the gorgeous warm solid teak flooring against my dresser. I still can't quite get over how big this dresser is. The mirror is almost as tall as the door.

Having minimal furniture means I am able to splurge that extra bit more on the furniture I actually need and that is a bed, dresser, reading chair and one nightstand. I make that emphasis on one nightstand because I really don't think it necessary to go all symmetrical when you don't need a nightstand on both sides of the bed.

I also have an Instagram page to document the process of turning my home into a sanctuary. Do give it a follow if you love all things natural wood, blush pink and white. I'm inspired by beach houses and of course the Hamptons. Here's a link to my personal Instagram page.

Getting rid of stuff has become easier 

I am ruthless. I am really strict with anything that I sense is making both my physical and mental space feel cluttered. Understanding this feeling is something that comes with time. As your mind gets used to the idea of not having twelve pairs of shoes you start to notice other things you need to cull. This is fuelled by that feeling you get when you see a clear space as a result of the stuff you have got rid of. I make snap decisions and I realise it is through the snap decisions that I make the best ones.

I suffer from regret quite often

I regret getting rid of some stuff but I value that as a learning experience. If you don't get rid of stuff you regret, how will you ever learn to get rid of stuff you really need to get rid of? I get over the regret by reminding myself that regret is an essential part of my journey of living a simple life. Making mistakes helps me learn better ways of culling. Despite regret I feel so much lighter. I can travel, I moved to London for six months and have now moved to America.

Living with non-minimalists

Living with non-minimalists has been the biggest struggle in this journey, bigger than getting rid of sentimental items. They don’t understand my lifestyle but I learnt to respect theirs nevertheless. My only advice for this is to lead as example.

Overcoming people’s opinions on my lifestyle has been difficult. 

Anyone who has ever stepped out of their comfort zone to try something bold and significant will always receive resistance. The worst is when people question how much of a minimalist I actually am based on what their definition of minimalism means to them.

Minimalism still scares me

When I started I was worried I'd get rid of stuff I'll need later and what my friend would think. I was worried I'd lose my identity and everything I gave meaning to in life. That was it, meaning, whatever you apply meaning to becomes bigger than what it actually is. Your mind is subjective. When I take on a big project I really throw myself in the deep end. I have high expectations of myself and expect perfection. On top of that a lot of people around me enjoy pointing out non minimalist things I do. Like the amount of makeup I own, the 'expensive' clothes I buy and get this, my bulk buying toothpaste, and the list goes on. That too is subjective.

Minimalism is not about number. 

It's progress. There's no end point to minimalism and that's the beautiful thing about it. What you find meaningless may bring great value to another person.

So what is minimalism? 

To me minimalism is allowing yourself to live the life you want to live. It is the quiet of a summers night. It is the view on top of the mountains. Most importantly, it is freedom. It can get to the point where you're renting the things you already own at the cost of your happiness. I seek to get rid of stuff both physical and non-physical that do not bring me value. Minimalism is ever changing, growing as you grow too. The beautiful thing about minimalism is that there's no right or wrong. There is no right way for you to live. That's the reason I chose minimalism. To remove myself from the social conditioning of 'get a job get married have kids, teach your kids to do the same and then die'. To simply live as I want.

What's next?

I want to share my thoughts, projects and new ideas with you but without the word 'minimalism' attached.  I may share a video with 'minimalism' in the title but that would only be to reach the right people. Everything I do is based around my minimalist lifestyle and I want to share that authentic, or more candid part of it.

I mentioned Natural Cycles in a video before but I feel I must talk about it at length in a post here. Especially due to the articles about unwanted pregnancies as a result of using the app surfacing online I wanted to share my own experience of using the app.

Natural Cycles is the only certified contraceptive app in Europe and has recently been FDA approved in the USA. The app determines your fertile days through your basal body temperature and other information you input like your period and ovulation tests. After continued use you will get green days which indicate that you have a 'not fertile' day and red days where you are fertile and must use another form of non hormonal contraception.

Natural Cycles is a direct-to-consumer app, which means, you don't have to go through a doctor to get it. As with many direct-to-consumer products the app is advertised, everywhere, you can't have scrolled through social media without an ad or a sponsored post by an influencer on how easy it is to use and how it has changed their lives.

It definitely improved my life. It meant I didn't have to suffer the side effects of hormonal contraception but it meant that there were five times more risks of human error than missing a pill or breaking a condom.

Below are the things you should know that Natural Cycles don't make clear to you before you sign up:

You'll get a more accurate prediction of your green days if you take LH tests. 

LH tests are ovulation tests that help determine the time in the menstrual cycle when getting pregnant is most likely. The test detects a rise in luteinizing hormone (LH) in the urine. A rise in this hormone signals the ovary to release the egg.

You must wake up and go to bed at the same time every single day for contraception to be effective.

You cannot sleep more or less than 2 hours. Unless you zonk out as soon as you get into bed or check the time when you feel yourself getting sleepy I feel that it would be difficult to avoid errors. I am good at this, but for someone with an erratic lifestyle to learn this only after they signed up must make them feel slightly misled.

You can't get cold, fevers and hangovers often.

I am someone who always catches the cold but when inputing my temperature I always tap 'deviating temp' which means that my temperature may not be normal.

You can't travel often.

Jet lag and time zone differences add to more deviating temps and makes the app less reliable.

There were a lot of things I didn't learn about the app until I signed up for the annual subscription. As soon as I signed up the apps homepage filled with information I think I should have known before parting with my money. When you go to a doctor to discuss contraception they will lay out all the pros and cons and give a recommendation based on your medical history and lifestyle. The different thing about Natural Cycles is that it's a direct-to-consumer product. This means that they are essentially a business looking to make money on highlighting the great things about their product through a short 30 second ad. Although condoms are too direct-to-consumer products they only have one human error involved. Even when you visit the FAQ's of the website Natural Cycles are quick to skirt over the negatives.

Green days can change to red days days after you've had unprotected sex

Green days can change to red even days after you've had unprotected sex. You'll only know this if you've logged unprotected sex on what you thought was a green day. I take this to essentially mean that you should only be using this app if you will not be absolutely devastated by an unwanted pregnancy.

The company website states that the app is for "women between the ages of 20-40 who are in a stable relationship". Essentially you must be okay with getting pregnant as human error is extremely high for this app.

Working nightshifts and not having a regular sleep routine will decrease the effectiveness of contraception but that fact is not mentioned at all here.

If you are consistent with your sleep routine, in a committed relationship where an unintentional pregnancy is okay then Natural Cycles is for you. I just really hope that anyone who is sponsored to promote the app fit that description or at least highlight these factors and not brush over the cons like the app itself does.

I have really enjoyed getting to know my natural cycle and getting to learn how my body works off the pill. I'm going to continue using the app as it has worked for me but at the same time I felt that it was important to share a balanced view of the app. Let me know your thoughts on the app in the comments section below. Have you started using it?

It is just as important to end the day right as it is to start it. Morning habits are essential to a successful day but a structured night time routine is just as important if not more.

I write a list of things to do the next day 

There's only so much time in the morning to structure your day. When you write a list of things you need to do the next day you are letting your mind rest with assurance that the following day is taken care of before it has even begun. You get rid of those scattering late night thoughts before they start. In the morning we wake up and need time to adjust. Having a list helps me feel calm about taking my time to get ready without that feeling of uncertainty or needing to do something straight away.

Brush and cleanse always

I can never have a well rested night without brushing my teeth and cleansing. The cleanser I have been loving is Purity by Philosophy. I have searched high and low and tested many cleansers but nothing has matched the gentle but effective cleansing this does. It melts away makeup and leaves my face feeling fresh. I don't like using harsh chemicals on my skin and this one is fragrance free and hydrating. While I am brushing and cleansing I occasionally like to put on some music. I love classical music for winding down. Here's a playlist I replay over and over.

One line about my day

As soon as I get into bed I pick up my journal. I love to reflect on the day that has passed. I always feel a little nostalgic about a good day being done and gone. I was gifted this One Line a Day 5 Year Memory book. The idea is that you write one line about your day every night so that on the same date next year and the year after that you'll remember what you were doing. It's a little bit like social media's Timehop. The beautiful part about this is that it encourages me to reflect on my day where most nights I otherwise would not have if it wasn't a particularly significant day. It reminds me that every single day, every moment, even the mundane are significant because it is all life after all.

Some other things

• I make my bed again even though I make it in the morning. During the day my sheets get creased. I love getting into hotel style no-crease bedsheets.
• I switch my phone to silent face down and use the iPhone's Bedtime feature that helps you get the same amount of sleep every night. It notifies me to get ready for bed half an hour before bedtime and wakes me up at the same time every single day regardless of whether it is a weekend. 
• A cuddle and reflection about our day (or separate days) with Taz.

I have been drip feeding my realisations as a conscious human on my Instagram page so it is only fitting that I put them all together here on my blog. I love writing poetically on my journey on becoming spiritually aligned with my true self. This is a place where I can share all the matters of my heart with you.

We are not warriors

One of my biggest realisations as a conscious human was that I must assess not react. A lot of us go about life in warrior mode touching to the primal instincts we no longer need. Since we no longer need to react instantly for survival by running from a wild boar it is insanity that we should expend the same amount of energy this takes on the small stuff. Examples of going about life in warrior mode include reacting instantly to anything that produces negative or uncomfortable feelings. When someone says something that offends you or if you happen to stub your toe, it doesn’t make sense to react with the same feelings our sapien ancestors would have when in mortal danger, but we do. We seem to think that we will be happier and powerful if we react to negativity with our own negativity. You will only attract back what you give out. To be happy, to be truly joyous, we must let go of warrior mode which only fuels ego.

Most importantly, it is not enough to ignore negative feeling, in fact, it is dangerous. I learnt that in order to rise to joy I must accept feelings of fear, resentment or anger. I must then honour that feeling, forgive myself and begin again. In my early days, and even now sometimes it really helps for me to recite aloud my carefully written faith statement:

'I honour you for how you feel. I have so much compassion for where you are in this moment.'

Forgiving myself

The biggest step to becoming conscious is by practicing compassion for yourself. When you don’t let go of negative feelings you are living a mindless life pushed, like that of a tumbleweed, by every bump and scratch and forever powerless. Remember that letting go of a feeling is left more painful and almost impossible to do if you don’t at first honour the feeling. By simply recognising it as a legitimate feeling equal to that of happiness you open your heart to joy.

I beat myself up about stepping out of my conscious alignment but I then realise that to step back in I must forgive myself. For this I have another powerful affirmation:

'I recognise that I have chosen wrongly, I forgive this thought, and I choose again. I choose love.'

Love

Love conquers all and overcomes all obstacles as the ancient roman poet Vigil claims. We think of love as an all consumptive feeling confined only to our relationships. Instead love is everywhere like that of the free open air, ready to be accepted into your heart whenever you decide you want to feel it. It is important to continually feel love for all things. Feel love for the universe, for God or whatever you believe in. It is the people who love the least that need our love the most. When we stop feeling love, feelings of resentment, fear and anger creep in. That is the pollution of the world, all the wars and hatred are simply an outward reflection of an inner pollution. The inner pollution of people not taking responsibility for their own inner peace.

Be here, now

'Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is life itself, it is an insane way to live' - Eckhart Tolle

I became conscious as soon as I noticed myself trying to hurry past the seemingly insignificant or mundane aspects of life. I filled my everyday with distraction from real life. Whiling away time on the train with a rubbish magazine or the coffee I was chugging down to curb the tiredness were all mindless actions.

Whiling away time isn’t the only time waster. Instantly reacting to every text, notification or alarm we float aimlessly. By reacting instead of observing and being present in the moment despite how ‘mundane’ this moment may seem we are checking out of our lives. We peer gape-mouthed into other people’s show reels while we’re still in our ‘behind the scenes’. We allow other people to dictate how we feel by reacting to their hate with hate. We allow the bad weather we know we have no control over to keep us from a road trip. Unconscious humans will forever react, never stopping to assess, never stopping to enjoy the scenic view of the detour that the inconvenient road works take them in. If we checked in with ourselves we would actualise our dreams. If we checked back into our lives we’d be living it.

Living consciously means to live powerfully, to have a life that you are the director of, to have dreams that you are the dreamer of and to be the master of your fate and destiny.

I have been sharing some of the most thought provoking podcasts on my Instagram stories. Ever since I became a London commuter I've been looking for ways to make the hour productive. My mind works best early mornings and starting your day right is so important.

Some of the things I love to do while stuck on a train is reading a good book, writing, editing my YouTube videos. I’ve recently added podcasts to my list of things I love to do on the commute. I listen to everything from mindfulness to entrepreneurial success and wealth management and they really work to shape my day. I wanted to share only two podcast. I've narrowed it own to these two because these are the podcasts I've been listening to non stop, sometimes even on repeat. I've loved listening to them that much and I hope you do too.

The Think Grow Podcast

I have to say that my favourite one is Ruben Chavez’s The Think Grow Podcast. I listened to every single episode in a week. I love his worldview and the guests he has on the show have provoked many thoughts and mindful actions towards my dream life. I talk about my dream life a lot. I’m quite open about where I’m heading and my journey on the road less travelled. It is true that it’s the words you tell yourself now, the people your surround yourself with now and the media (books/podcasts) you consume now that will shape the next five years of your life.

Favourite episode: 5 Way to Increase Your Intelligence
If you've been reading my blog or watching my videos for a while you'll know how much I love learning about the power of the mind and it's potential to help you reach your dreams. This episode breaks down how you can use the power of your mind to get closer to your dream.

The Genius Network

I love the format of this podcast. It's recorded with an audience and you don't need to see the audience to know their reactions. While Ruben's podcast is a one on one conversational this one that covers different aspects of creating your dream life the focus on this one is very much specific to entrepreneurial success. I love learning how people started up especially because my dream life involves working for myself.

Favourite episode: The Happiness Advantage
In this episode Shawn Actor shares some of the reasons why people think they're not happy and how to experience more joy. I've learnt that there's a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is short lived, only if you let it, but joy is our birth right. It is something we were supposed to have for as long as we are in full alignment with our true self.