I like to do a quarterly review on where I am in life and since we are in the last chapter I want to share some of the things I will be doing to ensure an even better 2019. The photos shown were taken from a trip to the Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park which overlooks the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. Going away just before the year is over not only allows me to recharge but it helps me assimilate all that has been and done. I find that at the end of every year, despite what has gone on, it has always been better than the last and I have always come out a more wiser and emotionally stronger person afterwards. Setting clear actionable goals are what have made every year that has passed the best one.

It is not 'despite' but rather 'because of' the hard times that I am able to be so in love with life. I love life, I love living in it, breathing it and waking up to another precious day. The thing about living through rough times is that once you have hit rock bottom the only way is up. There's no more going down. That to me is the hope and the reason to carry on. Read this when you feel that your year isn't going your way.

1 Reflect on the year so far
I chose not to share my 2018 goals and resolutions online as I have done every other year. Although I like to document my personal growth I love the idea of keeping my big goals to myself. I will be asking myself what goals I accomplished this year. What happened this year? Where am I headed?

2 Look at your finances
I do a financial audit every quarter but only take action on it such as changing my bank account, closing certain accounts or deciding to cut costs in my last quarter.

3 What didn't go well and why?
This isn't in response to whether you completed your new years resolutions but rather what you did this year but didn't go well, maybe it was your conduct, the way you handled certain situations that came your way, a decision you made that you regret. You can then work to improve the way you handle it the second time round and also gain closure and move on from that. Asking yourself this question helps you grow. You start to understand what is important to you and par down on what isn't.



4 Forgive yourself 
The most important one. There's a little mantra I like to repeat, particularly when negative thoughts creep in, when I have been emotionally driven or when I simply need to re-steer myself: 'I recognise that I have chosen wrongly, I forgive this thought, and I choose again. I choose love.' I learnt this mantra from Gabrielle Bernstein's book The Universe Has Your Back.

5 Make new goals
This is the time to get excited. The prospect of a new year is a mixture of both an exciting and daunting time. Despite what has happened in the past year, it is important to turn a new leaf and make a fresh start. Remember that you are never too old to begin again.

6 Have a clear out
Most people have a spring clean in spring but I feel that there's no better time than now to have a good old clear out of your things. This is the time of year that I find most useful to do it.
I usually write a list first of the different areas of my home I either need to improve or categories of items I want to focus on purging. This includes clearing window sills, repairing blinds or donating books especially because these things get lost in the noise of living life.

7 Write a gratitude list
What are you grateful for in your life thus far? Maybe there are newer things to add to this list than there were last year.



8 Appreciate how far you've come in life
Ask yourself 'where was I in life this time last year?' or 'what was I doing this time last year' and you will surprise yourself.

9 Take care of your health
Do you need to book an opticians appointment, get your annual blood test?

1. I paint and draw, even sketched my own wedding dress, and currently I'm getting into colouring. I'm talking artist grade colouring. It's been so very therapeutic.

2. My favourite food is pizza. Really cheesy NYC style pizza.


3. I love writing, I've written poems and stories from a young age.

4. When I was 15 I wrote a novel set in Virginia about a girl who lost her boyfriend to a motorcycle accident and was haunted by his ghost. I also wrote one about a boy who was adopted but happens to stumble across a haunted house containing all his dead relatives who tell him all about his past different to what his adopted parents have told him.

5. I used to want to become an actress growing up and would make impressions of people, my friends and I would be characters from Eastenders acting out the scenes we really wanted to watch like the reveal of the Stacey-Max affair scene before it aired on TV.

6. I used to make videos with my brother on our old Dell laptop that weren't uploaded on YouTube between 2011-2013 inspired by iCarly (because that was his favourite show at the time). We also made Aldi hauls, toy reviews and just general funny stuff.

7. I love cheese and add cheese to almost anything.


8. College (last two years of high school) were the best schooling years of my life. Met my now close friends, published my first poem, experimented with my style.

9. I have had a few of my poems published on teen ink and love writing poetry.

10. I love doughnuts.

11. Since we’re on the topic of doughnuts I love bread and everything carbs.

12. I’m a Hufflepuff.

13. I love my bed.

14. I tried to start up an app and created the website, designed the screens of the app and even the wireframes (visual representations of each and every screen of the app) but have put that on the back burner for other projects.

15. Reading is my favourite thing to do ever. I don’t know what fuelled this but from a young age I used to beg my mum for books.

16. I love libraries. I spent a lot of time in libraries. I attend the events, edit my videos, write and read.

17. I spent most of my school summer holidays drawing and sketching, as I got older I spent it taking my brother to the park.

18. I love wearing leggings instead of tights. Tights make me feel trapped and hate that I can't wear them twice without washing.

19. I’m a homegirl, which is why this move to America was the biggest life adjustment.

20. I’m very romantic.

21. I prefer a series over a movie.

22. I almost always fall asleep during a movie if I’m watching past 8:30pm with Taz but can stay wide awake and watch youtube videos alone on my phone.

23. I started my blog back in 2011 and it started as a fashion blog. It has now turned into a personal development blog.

24. I’m the weird food combinations person. I eat sautéed potato with mayo in a sandwiched toast and would take these weird food combinations for work lunch and everyone would be fascinated.

25. I self taught myself to design elements on my blog and for the app planned to create.

This is another poem I wrote a few years ago that I hid away and want to share in my efforts to encourage myself to write more poems. I can't wait to share them with you.

On the Shore' is inspired by Jonan Christian Dahl's painting, 'A Mother and Child by the Sea' (1840). I wrote this poem after seeing this painting and instantly imagined the time when men would go out to war and women and children would anticipate their arrival.

On the shore a girl screamed “Papa Papa”
Papa was still a long distance away.
Standing on the rocky coastal ground
The child would lose her balance,
Her mother lay one hand on her shoulder
The firm and heavy grip did not faze her
And she pointed “Papa”.

The clouds closed their doors
The boat moved towards them, motionless
Later seemed blown about by the wind.
The glassy sea reflected the dying sun
Let hope ripple through.
The boat lay at a rest stop in the sea.

The dirt-ridden sail flapped, the boat made a movement,
A sigh spread across the sea, the girl jumped “Papa”.

The clouds opened pink sunset
Revealing the mothers tresses
Her dress bunched up around the rocks
The flesh of it supple and young,
Its soft satin, prey to the sharp rocks.

The boat moved sideways
The sail resigned.
The mother moved her hand
Covered the child's face.
Underneath, the child squinted
Turned towards the blanket of the dress
“Mama”.

The painting is a calm evening on a rocky coastal landscape and sun's reflection is the little air of optimism in the painting. I imagined the mother nervous. I depicted the dark mood through my imagery acting as a catalyst to the eventual sinking of the boat, "The clouds closed their doors", the sun was "dying" and the reflection of the sun was "pushed about by the rocks".

A Pair of Shoes painting by Vincent Van Gogh (1886)

I have been writing poetry for as long as I can remember and even published them on a blog I used to have separate to this one. I have been getting back into writing poetry because it has always soothed me. As a teenager I had my poems published on TeenInk. My poem Daddy I Miss You featured as the number one poem on the website 43 times. My poem Beautiful won Editors Choice award for “an exceptional piece”. Poetry has been a huge part of my growth both in terms of achievement and healing. I wrote this one five years ago as a part of my creative writing assignment at university. It is an ekphrastic poem inspired by Van Gogh's shoes.

Reading this is taking me right back to my impressionist art obsession. I can't wait to share some of my new work with you.

Their mouths gape open after a hard day's work
Accusingly, I have used the life out of them.
I drag them through the cobbled streets of the markets
They are too stubborn to lift, defiant.

The laces are burnt out ropes,
Yet hang as threads.
They are jagged jail bars,
Dig into my flesh leaving blue stains.

Making a pact, they lock together
Like twigs that stay put during autumn,
That are ferociously ripped off
By children playing.

Turning them around for further inspection
There was the Wheatfield.
A feather from a crow,
A little present to my soles.

The dying wheat sprinkled off its yellow confetti
Of life.
The feather is molded into the grooves
Life is yellow. Blue is death.

Taking me back to my solitary walks;
One lost its wear a little more,
The heel trips me back at an awkward gravel path
And laughs at me when I stumble.

At sunrise I drop them with a thud
At sunset I drop them with a groan.
The naked eyelets are neglected
The rigid stems refuse to seam through.

Sat there, desolate
Their collars no longer identical
With a sigh one resigned, wilted
Holding me down further.

It is believed that van Gogh bought these shoes at a flea market so I mentioned his walk through "the markets". van Gogh spent a lot of money and time on his paintings and was eventually unable to afford to buy food. He was not well-off and this is clear in his deteriorating shoes.

Another one of his paintings called A Wheatfield with Crows is believed to be one of his last paintings before he took his own life and he seemed to have painted a lot of wheatfields. I couldn't help but get excited about that and incorporate it so it is as if he walked through the wheatfield with these boots, "There was the Wheatfield. A feather from a crow" and concluded it with his death, "Blue is death" and "Yellow is life".

The shoes fight with him throughout and he is eventually unable to continue on with them, his life.

It feels right to finally give you a two and a half year update on my minimalism journey. I cannot believe it has been this long. My minimalism playlist on YouTube is the most watched and followed playlist on my channel.

Above is a photo of a corner of my bedroom that I am particularly proud of. I am obsessed with open spaces and try to keep furniture to an absolute basic minimum. My rule is that if it's not going to be in frequent use it should go. In this way I am able to enjoy the paintwork and the gorgeous warm solid teak flooring against my dresser. I still can't quite get over how big this dresser is. The mirror is almost as tall as the door.

Having minimal furniture means I am able to splurge that extra bit more on the furniture I actually need and that is a bed, dresser, reading chair and one nightstand. I make that emphasis on one nightstand because I really don't think it necessary to go all symmetrical when you don't need a nightstand on both sides of the bed.

I also have an Instagram page to document the process of turning my home into a sanctuary. Do give it a follow if you love all things natural wood, blush pink and white. I'm inspired by beach houses and of course the Hamptons. Here's a link to my personal Instagram page.

Getting rid of stuff has become easier 

I am ruthless. I am really strict with anything that I sense is making both my physical and mental space feel cluttered. Understanding this feeling is something that comes with time. As your mind gets used to the idea of not having twelve pairs of shoes you start to notice other things you need to cull. This is fuelled by that feeling you get when you see a clear space as a result of the stuff you have got rid of. I make snap decisions and I realise it is through the snap decisions that I make the best ones.

I suffer from regret quite often

I regret getting rid of some stuff but I value that as a learning experience. If you don't get rid of stuff you regret, how will you ever learn to get rid of stuff you really need to get rid of? I get over the regret by reminding myself that regret is an essential part of my journey of living a simple life. Making mistakes helps me learn better ways of culling. Despite regret I feel so much lighter. I can travel, I moved to London for six months and have now moved to America.

Living with non-minimalists

Living with non-minimalists has been the biggest struggle in this journey, bigger than getting rid of sentimental items. They don’t understand my lifestyle but I learnt to respect theirs nevertheless. My only advice for this is to lead as example.

Overcoming people’s opinions on my lifestyle has been difficult. 

Anyone who has ever stepped out of their comfort zone to try something bold and significant will always receive resistance. The worst is when people question how much of a minimalist I actually am based on what their definition of minimalism means to them.

Minimalism still scares me

When I started I was worried I'd get rid of stuff I'll need later and what my friend would think. I was worried I'd lose my identity and everything I gave meaning to in life. That was it, meaning, whatever you apply meaning to becomes bigger than what it actually is. Your mind is subjective. When I take on a big project I really throw myself in the deep end. I have high expectations of myself and expect perfection. On top of that a lot of people around me enjoy pointing out non minimalist things I do. Like the amount of makeup I own, the 'expensive' clothes I buy and get this, my bulk buying toothpaste, and the list goes on. That too is subjective.

Minimalism is not about number. 

It's progress. There's no end point to minimalism and that's the beautiful thing about it. What you find meaningless may bring great value to another person.

So what is minimalism? 

To me minimalism is allowing yourself to live the life you want to live. It is the quiet of a summers night. It is the view on top of the mountains. Most importantly, it is freedom. It can get to the point where you're renting the things you already own at the cost of your happiness. I seek to get rid of stuff both physical and non-physical that do not bring me value. Minimalism is ever changing, growing as you grow too. The beautiful thing about minimalism is that there's no right or wrong. There is no right way for you to live. That's the reason I chose minimalism. To remove myself from the social conditioning of 'get a job get married have kids, teach your kids to do the same and then die'. To simply live as I want.

What's next?

I want to share my thoughts, projects and new ideas with you but without the word 'minimalism' attached.  I may share a video with 'minimalism' in the title but that would only be to reach the right people. Everything I do is based around my minimalist lifestyle and I want to share that authentic, or more candid part of it.

I mentioned Natural Cycles in a video before but I feel I must talk about it at length in a post here. Especially due to the articles about unwanted pregnancies as a result of using the app surfacing online I wanted to share my own experience of using the app.

Natural Cycles is the only certified contraceptive app in Europe and has recently been FDA approved in the USA. The app determines your fertile days through your basal body temperature and other information you input like your period and ovulation tests. After continued use you will get green days which indicate that you have a 'not fertile' day and red days where you are fertile and must use another form of non hormonal contraception.

Natural Cycles is a direct-to-consumer app, which means, you don't have to go through a doctor to get it. As with many direct-to-consumer products the app is advertised, everywhere, you can't have scrolled through social media without an ad or a sponsored post by an influencer on how easy it is to use and how it has changed their lives.

It definitely improved my life. It meant I didn't have to suffer the side effects of hormonal contraception but it meant that there were five times more risks of human error than missing a pill or breaking a condom.

Below are the things you should know that Natural Cycles don't make clear to you before you sign up:

You'll get a more accurate prediction of your green days if you take LH tests. 

LH tests are ovulation tests that help determine the time in the menstrual cycle when getting pregnant is most likely. The test detects a rise in luteinizing hormone (LH) in the urine. A rise in this hormone signals the ovary to release the egg.

You must wake up and go to bed at the same time every single day for contraception to be effective.

You cannot sleep more or less than 2 hours. Unless you zonk out as soon as you get into bed or check the time when you feel yourself getting sleepy I feel that it would be difficult to avoid errors. I am good at this, but for someone with an erratic lifestyle to learn this only after they signed up must make them feel slightly misled.

You can't get cold, fevers and hangovers often.

I am someone who always catches the cold but when inputing my temperature I always tap 'deviating temp' which means that my temperature may not be normal.

You can't travel often.

Jet lag and time zone differences add to more deviating temps and makes the app less reliable.

There were a lot of things I didn't learn about the app until I signed up for the annual subscription. As soon as I signed up the apps homepage filled with information I think I should have known before parting with my money. When you go to a doctor to discuss contraception they will lay out all the pros and cons and give a recommendation based on your medical history and lifestyle. The different thing about Natural Cycles is that it's a direct-to-consumer product. This means that they are essentially a business looking to make money on highlighting the great things about their product through a short 30 second ad. Although condoms are too direct-to-consumer products they only have one human error involved. Even when you visit the FAQ's of the website Natural Cycles are quick to skirt over the negatives.

Green days can change to red days days after you've had unprotected sex

Green days can change to red even days after you've had unprotected sex. You'll only know this if you've logged unprotected sex on what you thought was a green day. I take this to essentially mean that you should only be using this app if you will not be absolutely devastated by an unwanted pregnancy.

The company website states that the app is for "women between the ages of 20-40 who are in a stable relationship". Essentially you must be okay with getting pregnant as human error is extremely high for this app.

Working nightshifts and not having a regular sleep routine will decrease the effectiveness of contraception but that fact is not mentioned at all here.

If you are consistent with your sleep routine, in a committed relationship where an unintentional pregnancy is okay then Natural Cycles is for you. I just really hope that anyone who is sponsored to promote the app fit that description or at least highlight these factors and not brush over the cons like the app itself does.

I have really enjoyed getting to know my natural cycle and getting to learn how my body works off the pill. I'm going to continue using the app as it has worked for me but at the same time I felt that it was important to share a balanced view of the app. Let me know your thoughts on the app in the comments section below. Have you started using it?